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How Can You Fall Out Of Love With Your Ex?

rakshita469 December 28, 2020

Is there an easy way to fall out of love with an ex you are still in love with? Probably not. There are no magic spells that help you to snap out of your ex in an instant. But what if there was a way where you could gradually decrease the intensity of your feelings?

According to a recent study, there were three cognitive strategies that a group of participants exhibited when asked to think about their exes. They are:

Love Reappraisal

This includes focusing on your feelings that you may still have a soft corner for your ex and acknowledging that you cannot reconcile again. It circles on a bittersweet emotion of knowing that you are in love with someone you cannot spend life with. 

Negative Reappraisal 

This strategy encourages you to focus on the negative aspects of your ex’ traits. Recall the list of things you found annoying in your ex. 


The next strategy is a distraction. Reflecting on something your former has nothing to do with. E.g. distracting yourself with thoughts of your favourite music, travel place, etc. 

Of the above three ways, negative reappraisal was found to have worked the best in helping people reduce their feelings towards their ex. However, focusing on the exes’ negative traits and habits also aroused unpleasant feelings in them. 

It’s natural to feel vulnerable when you recall the times that were uncomfortable with your former partner. But this temporary method is useful in the long run if you wish to get over your ex.

It works on a simple logic that reflects on the good times and positive aspects when you want to give online dating a second chance. Similarly, to get over a past relationship focus on the negative traits and the bad times. 

Question yourself, “Were you compatible together”? 

While you shouldn’t be making it a routine for everyone you meet, it helps decrease the feelings when you realize that you were incompatible with your ex and focus on the things that irked you in the relationship. 

Break-up is never pleasant and it hits everyone with high intensity. Therefore, people deal with their emotions after a breakup and do not wish to recall the unpleasant times they may have had.

Everyone has both good and bad qualities. Nobody is perfect. But when you wish to move on from your ex make it a point to list down the negative attributes and how it was different from your principles and values. Keep it simple. Just because you are listing down the bad traits does not mean you have to demonize your ex in your head. 

Next, it would be a lot easier to let go when you accept your relationship’s truth. Breakups are painful, but things always end for a reason. The fights, the disagreements, etc. eventually add up and snowballs into something worse. So, learn to accept the truth and put things in perspective.

Effective Tips To Fall Out Of Love With Your Ex

Apart from the above strategies, here are some tried and tested methods to let go of an ex when you have no other choice.

Axe Your Ex from Social Media

It’s time to unfriend, unfollow, block and cut off ties with your ex. The more you stay in touch, the more it’s going to tempt you to send a text harmlessly. So, remove them from your social media so that you let go of all hopes to reconcile. 

Set a New Goal or Target for Yourself

While breakups are hard to deal with, try to see the positive outcome. Now you have the time to yourself to pick up a new hobby or invest more time in yourself. Set a new target or goal – maybe learn something new, travel, start a journal, give yourself some challenges, etc. Keeping yourself busy or doing something new helps to boost your confidence. 

Make Peace With the Past

Don’t let the bitterness of your past relationship take control over you. It is natural to feel anger and resentment when your trust is betrayed or when someone treats you poorly. But don’t hold on to that anger. 

It can distract you from your everyday life and sow seeds of bitterness. Don’t become the person you are not. Move forward in your life and slowly accept the past and make peace with it. 

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